Oh my gerd! It’s a T-Rex! What do I do? WHAT DO I DO???!!!
TurboGrafx-16 – 1990(NA) – Hudson Soft/NEC Home Electronics
Bonk had one goal (aside from making money of course). He was to be the mascot for TurboGrafx-16 and go up against Super Mario. He was even reasonably successful. Called PC Genjin in Japan (a play on the TG-16’s Japanese name, PC Engine), Bonk was a caveman (a genjin) that used the power of MEAT to defeat the evil dinosaur King Drool and rescue Princess Za.
Yesterday Theo and I were attacked by a TOGE BLP. His appearance suggested spiked poo, but he spoke with the most delightful British accent. However, once he attacked I ceased to find him appealing at all, so I brought down the fire of heaven upon his spiked poo head. He smelled like burnt poo too.
Sword of Hope II
Game Boy – 1996 (NA) – Kemco
Released four years after it came out in Japan, Sword of Hope II is the sequel to the 1989 original. You play as Theo, who along with a rotating cast of characters must retrieve the stolen Sword of Hope before the evil dragon it was imprisoning awakes. It’s a fairly good RPG if you can get around the odd controls and is available on the 3DS virtual console (though the original is not). The TOGE BLP, the CN STAR, and the LETHR armor are all because of a character limitation in the games code.
Mario says, “Here, have a tinkle on me.”
Game Boy – 1995 – Nintendo
A collection of number puzzles and the first in a long series that survives today in the form of 3D Picross 2 on 3DS. The reception was luke warm and the next couple games never made it to the US.
~ Hubris ~
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
Game Boy – 1992 – Nintendo
Mario’s second platforming outing on Game Boy is considered one of his best. Rather than the typical Mushroom Kingdom affair, Mario is trying to take back his castle from Wario. To open the sealed door, however, he’ll have to find the six Golden Coins. The worlds are wacky, including a Halloween world, a Space world, and a giant mechanical Mario world. So grab a Magic Carrot and fly off in this adventure. Well, float gently down at least.
Fortune Teller: “I see in your future…love.”
… 4 weeks pass and you find yourself in the lair of a mad scientist trying to stop an evil tentacle from world domination…
You pick up the phone:
“Hello, Madame Schafer?…Yes, I’d like a refund.”
Day of the Tentacle
PC – 1993 – LucasArts
The sequel to 1987’s Maniac Mansion, Day of the Tentacle is a beloved adventure game classic built in the SCUMM engine. You help Bernard, Hoagie, and Laverne defeat time, tentacles, and perhaps even George Washington. Also in the game is a fully playable version of the original Maniac Mansion.
My God, it’s full of stars…
NES – 1986 – Nintendo
Arriving in the arcades in 1984 and programmed by the late and wonderful Satoru Iwata, Balloon Fight is close to Joust in gameplay. However, the alternative game mode, Balloon Trip, diverges into an endless runner with one of the best chip tune songs out there.
“Hey, thanks for the ride. I’ve been jumping, running, and climbing all day.”
“No problem. It breaks the monotony. Where you heading to?”
“See that locked door over there? A big ape grabbed my love and took off through it. I’m going to find her and bring her back. Right after I mop the floor with him.”
“That’s nice. Sounds exciting. Have fun storming the castle.”
Game Boy – 1994 – Nintendo
Faithfully presented the four levels of the original Donkey Kong arcade hit from the 80’s, before veering off into a multi-world puzzle platformer that is fun and challenging. One of the few places to play the infamously missing Cement Factory level from the arcade original.